In our last episode, I was dealing with the bitter aftertaste of my New Idea Obsession™ hangover. Aka: Resistance. Aka: I suck at life. But no more! I took a nap and now I’m twirling around in a meadow totally refreshed.
I mentioned the concept of how our core values can electroshock us back into motivation when we’re feeling a little on edge about our skills and talents. Now to be completely honest, when I hear the words “core values,” I just want to walk out of the room. But as boring as a compass is when you’re just sitting around, it doesn’t look so useless when you’re wandering around aimlessly in a desert with no water.
The Core Values Exercise
Here’s how I played it. I used a couple lists (dash of James Clear, sprink of Brené Brown) and gobbled up all the nouns that jumped off the page and into my mouth. At first I had no idea if these words were:
a. core to me
b. things I even valued
c. completely arbitrary
d. too virtue-signally
But something felt comforting about the words so, gobble I did continue.
To really home in on the best of the best, I thought about Bonesick’s aesthetic and WHY it initially struck me as it fell from the heavens into my brain. I thought about it from both an artist/creator/god-like level, sitting far above my idea on my important perch, as well as on a world-building level, sitting deep inside of what Bonesick idea could be.
See, whatever core values I select, these would be my north star. My tether to my magickal muse, my spirit guide, my subconscious pulse. And if I ever wake up with another New Idea Obsession™ hangover again [all the time], I’ll dish out a helping. Like slamming a Gatorade with a side of Advil and eggs.
Where did I land?
1. Adventures in Normcore
I dig stuff that takes Courage, inspires Awe, and feels a little Risky (not to be confused with risqué, but I wouldn’t turn that down either). Whenever I feel resistance to tackle something, I tend to reframe it and say, “Heyyyyy, this wouldn’t be an adventure now would it? Yeeahhhh? Ok then…LET’S GO.” I then jiggle a set of car keys and yelp to myself, “Outside?!” Funny thing though. I’m truly such a bland and basic human. Sure I might explore abandoned buildings in Gary, Indiana at night. But I also really love Seinfeld and cats and tacos. In other words, normcore is my default setting, and on a typical day my life tastes like oatmeal. So let’s marry these two seemingly opposed modus operandi and find out what happens next.
2. Meaningful Mundanity
Sadly, words like “Achievement” and “Personal Fulfillment” wanted me to gobble them too. I chewed on their empty, westernized promises for a bit because I’m a Capricorn Sea Goat, and I like to climb up to the tops of mountains, even with my, no, especially with my fish-like tail because it’s harder to do. Thanks to Mr. Clear, though, he provided a word that didn’t taste so bad. I spit the others out and took a big helping of “Meaningful Work.” True Story: I once quit my high-salary, high-profile job with stable benefits to freelance for half the salary and no benefits, just because it felt more meaningful. And while that worked out for awhile, it taught me a lesson about how one can (and should) find awe anywhere and everywhere, no matter what TPS Report you have to file that day. Meaningful is what you make of it.
3. Agnostic Acceptance
I’ve got a real big problem with “Belonging,” but the word leapt all the way into my throat, so here we go. I’m an introvert whose self worth is often contingent on external praise. I thrive by myself and feel alone and paranoid in groups. I’m generous, and I’m grabby. I feel like the whole world is collapsing inside the vacuum of pandemic social isolation, and we need more togetherness. And yet togetherness shines a Hollywood floodlight on how much we all hate each other. I believe in the warm embrace of connection, and I’m incredibly skeptical of everyone. Thus, to crack the Belonging Code is essential to my core. I know I’m not the only one who feels like this (especially in our world today), so I want to find my people, gather them into my arms, and then immediately tell them to keep their distance. Like God Himself, I want “Acceptance” to be something we all need and something we don’t need at all. I want us to believe in each other and in ourselves alone, to find our worth in the deeds we do for others and worthiness in doing nothing at all. Talk about a worthy paradox!
. . .
I’ll leave it at that for now. But I dare say this was a worthwhile endeavor. These are the feels which set the tone for Bonesick. Next episode, I’ll talk theme-actics and maybe even give you the 30,000 ft view of the so-far story in three acts.
"find awe in anything and everything" YUP! Especially in my career journey. Why am I happier and better in my "boring" job, vs mind-f+&k3d with an abused confidence at the cool, AWEsome job I left it for? Trying to pass that viewpoint to my kids too.